Here is where I write stuff

EVERYONE. I have a question.

I don't remember exactly where this came from, but now that it's gotten into my head, I want to know.

What is your favorite thing about your personality?

Now, I don't want to know what you consider your "best" personality trait. I want to know what part of your personality you like the best, what part has proved most conducive to a good/happy/productive/[insert positive adjective here] life.

Like, for me, my favorite personality trait is my resiliency. I have a pretty good ability to bounce back pretty quickly from a rough blow. Even when I was broken and depressed last year, it was not hard to get me to smile, and I even had occasional Good Days where the world was OK by me. Last week I was stressed and just wanting to crawl into a hole, but it only took two good days to really recover. I usually bounce back quickly from my "down" moods and even if I don't bounce back quickly, I always bounce back. This is handy, because it means I don't waste a lot of time being depressed or blue. It makes my life that much better, because let's face it, it's nicer to be happy than sad.

So, what is your favorite thing about your personality?

All comments screened unless you explicitly say otherwise, or you can make your own post to spread this around and get more answers. I really want to know!

HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION:

Two people, Bob and Fred.

Bob: Wow, Fred, your mom smells really interesting.
Fred: HOW DARE YOU SAY MY MOTHER STINKS. I AM OFFENDED.
Bob: Oh! No no no, I meant that the perfume she is wearing is a new one I've not smelled before. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that she stinks!

FREEZE

Now, from here, this scenario can unfold one of two ways. If Fred is a reasonable human being, he will accept the apology and clarification, and the misunderstanding will soon be forgotten, like so:

UNFREEZE

Fred: Oh, okay! I thought you were insulting my mom, I'm sorry for yelling at you.
Bob: It's cool, I can see how you misunderstood me!

FIN

However, if Fred is not quite as reasonable as is ideal, the situation can get pretty ugly.

REWIND, UNFREEZE AGAIN

Fred: WHAT? CLEARLY you said that my mom stinks! HOW DARE YOU. You are a horrible person!
Bob: What? No, I didn't mean that, I mean that I like her new perfume! It is interesting!
Fred: NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU MEANT THAT SHE STINKS. You CLEARLY said that she stinks! I HATE YOU. YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR GRIEVOUS INSULTS!
Bob: But- But I didn't insult her! And I apologized for the misunderstanding! What?
Fred: YOU ARE SO MALICIOUS. I PITY YOU FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR HEINOUS CRIMES. [storms off, fingers in ears]

END SCENE

---

So what can Bob do in this situation? He can continue to try to convince Fred that no, he did not say that Fred's mom stinks, but clearly Fred is not going to listen.

I'm Bob in this scenario. I beat my head against the wall for quite a while trying to get Fred to understand that there had been a misunderstanding, but to no avail. And now Fred has decided that everything I say is an insult to him. On the one hand, it's almost entertaining watching him stretch everything into an insult, but on the other it's immensely frustrating.

---

This is what prompted me to post this.

You see, I really believe in character. I believe that someone's past actions are a good predictor of their future actions, and a good way to figure out a person's current intentions. This is why the law allows Character witnesses to be heard in civil AND criminal cases.

Character, to me, is what makes a person who they are. If you ask someone to define another in a single word, usually the word they will come up with is based on the other person's character. Words like "Nice, honest, kind, humble", or sometimes "rude, arrogant, selfish, dishonest" if it's an anonymous thing. Those sorts of things make up a person's character, or I guess another word is "reputation".

I weigh a person's character very heavily when interacting with them. I know people who are very reactionary- I know that if they say something is OMG AWFUL then it's probably not THAT bad. I know some people are gossips, and so I don't tell them confidential information. I know that some people will give me advice I need to hear, while other will give me advice I don't need to hear. I observe people, and I figure these sorts of things out about them.

To me, a person with good character is someone who is considerate of other people, mainly. It's really shown in their actions- if they are kind, if they treat people with respect, if they are honest even when it's hard, if they are humble, etc. Actions, to me, speak volumes more than a person's words. I have simply seen too many people who will hold a Bible in one hand and flip you off with the other. Uh, figuratively, that is. I don't think I've ever actually seen someone do literally that. That would be awkward.

ANYWAYS. That's what character is, to me, in a nutshell. I've also got some collected notes here. I poked through the internet and found some interesting things, and saved them to a private post, now unlocked for your reading pleasure. Also, I've unscreened the non-personal comments here.

So yeah. Character, reputation- it is important to me. I try really hard to have good character. It is not easy for me sometimes, because I have a nasty temper. I have to work hard to keep my temper in check. I am proud that I have only lost my temper at a person twice in my life (and once at a wall, but that doesn't count :P), but it is still shamefully easy to make me mad. I get it from my dad- I am my dad in female form in this regard. Luckily, it seems to be less with each generation (there are stories about my grandpa and great-grandpa), but then again I'm highly emotional so that makes it muuuuuuuuch harder for me to think clearly. But I try, and I do pretty good! I keep my temper, I don't say the mean nasty things that come to mind until I can vent appropriately, and I keep civil. I also try my hardest to be nice to everyone, and to be fair, and to be courteous and honest and humble and all those good things.

And I believe I've done a pretty good job of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that I've got it exactly 100% perfectly right, because I don't. I'm a work in progress, for sure. But then again, I've not got it 100% wrong, either. I know this for myself, plus I have been told this by people whose opinions I trust, PLUS Santa told me this.

But it has happened twice now, where someone has been determined to believe that I'm an awful, mean, horrible person. Last time it was a group of people, this time it's just one, but both times have had similarities. I said something, other party took offense and thought I meant something I didn't, and then refused to listen when I tried to explain that no, that's not what intended at all. Both times I bent over backwards, trying to get the other party/parties to understand- I wasn't trying to insult anyone! I wasn't trying to cause trouble! And both times, it was like talking to a wall with my forehead.

I don't understand this. Really, I can't fathom it. I really, honestly, truly cannot grasp why a person would insist that they know another's motives/meanings/intentions. Especially if the other person doesn't have a history of causing these kinds of problems. It's like... like watching a ballet dancer every day for a year, then suddenly up and insisting that she is a wrestler. The evidence does not support such a claim, and the ballerina herself is pointing to her ballet shoes and frilly tutu and doing pirouettes so show that she is a ballerina, but no! She is a WRESTLER, by George! It doesn't make sense to me.

So that's what has been going through my mind. I'm well secure in the knowledge that I am NOT a horrible person, that's not the problem- I just don't understand how someone can ignore basically everything about me in their determination to be mad at me. And of course there is a lot more behind all of this that I'm not going to go into, but if you boil it down to the basic gist of it, this is what you have.

What are your thoughts on this, guys?

http://charactercounts.org

A person’s “character” is the summation of his or her habits, attitudes and attributes. Because those qualities are learned, they can also be purposefully taught. And they should be — because good character doesn’t happen automatically, and it’s too important to be left to chance. The effectiveness and well-being of individuals, their organizations and their society depend on it.


We define character as the sum of those qualities of moral excellence that stimulates a person to do the right thing, which is manifested through right and proper actions despite internal or external pressures to the contrary.
– United States Air Force Academy


Let’s face it, it’s not easy to become a person of character. IT takes a good heart, but it also requires wisdom to know right from wrong and the discipline to do right even when it’s costly, inconvenient or difficult.
Becoming a person of character is a lifelong quest to be better.
A person of character values honesty and integrity and pays whatever price is needed to be worthy of trust, earning the pride of family and friends and self-respect.
A person of character plays fair even when others don’t and values no achievement unless it was attained with honor.
A person of character has strong convictions, yet avoids self-righteousness.
A person of character believes in the inherent dignity of all people and treats everyone with respect, even those whose ideas ideologies evoke strong disagreement.
A person of character deals with criticism constructively and is self-confident enough to take good advice, admit and learn from mistakes, feel and express genuine remorse and apologize graciously.
A person of character knows what’s important, sacrifices the now for later, is in control of attitudes and actions, overcomes negative impulses and makes the best of every situation.
A person of character willingly faces fears and tackles unpleasant tasks.
A person of character is consistently and self-consciously kind an empathetic, giving generously without concern for reward.
A person of character feels and expresses gratitude freely and frequently.
A person of character is not defeated by failure or dissuaded by disappointment.
A person of character seeks true happiness in living a life of purpose and meaning, placing a higher value on significance than success.
http://www.recreation.ucsb.edu/recsports/handouts/person_of_character.pdf

So I've been thinking some thoughts about character and what it means to me, prompted both by recent events and that quiz thingy I did last night. I'm solidifying my thoughts, and I want to post them soon, but first I want to know what y'all think about character. Specifically, what makes a person's character good or bad? What does character count for? What does character mean, in the long run?

I'm screening comments. If you like, I can unscreen them, just let me know. I really just want to know what you guys have to say about this.

Because wistfulmaid said so, I did this quizzy thing.

Concerned Inventor

( I am a Concerned Inventor )

I feel like I had something important to say, but I forgot.

We did our gift exchange at work today. I love my office. I got candy, I got gift cards (yes, plural), I got toys for Tesla, I got a journal and address book, I got socks, and I got a stuffed frog that is a computer screen cleaner thing. Earlier this week I also got a little windup dinosaur and a gooshy lightup thing. I should take pictures.

I have a ridiculous number of toys on my desk. Plus all my sharpies and highlighters. It's kind of amazing that I get any work done.

For our Secret Santa, I drew my boss' name. I got her a little sparkly snowflake necklace on a silver chain. She liked it :-)

For everyone else I brought gigantic chocolate bars.

There is food everywhere in this building! It is kind of ridiculous, but more awesome than anything else. It is all delicious. But now I am very full and very sleepy.

Today feels like a Friday. Not a whole lot of actual work is getting done. Tomorrow is going to suck, even less is going to get done and we will all want to be gone. I wonder if they will let us leave early. That would be awesome.

I'll stop littering your flists with rambling now.

So I was looking at icanhascheezburger.com and all those pictures of kittens make me just want to go adopt another kitten. Kittens are so cute! They are all tiny and fuzzy. And I think that if I get one with the right personality, Tesla would get along just fine. She got along with Mena, after all, when I took her to my parents' house for Thanksgiving.

Of course, now is pretty much the worst time ever. From here till February I'm going to be working most weekends, plus probably a good deal of overtime in the evenings, so I won't be home a lot to settle disputes. I'm moving in less than a month (!!!) and moving two cats doesn't sound like fun.

If I'm going to get a kitten, the best time would be in the Spring, after Tesla has had a chance to get used to the new place and when I will not be working mad overtime. But I still want one NOWWWWW. Oh, impatience.

Yesterday, someone found a kitten in our warehouse, and they were trying to talk me into taking it home. This is a bad idea because a) I don't really have spare moneies for shots and things, b) Tesla doesn't like other cats, and c) being gone all day means lots of time for the kitten to pick up bad habits. They are going to trap it today, and she said she'd tell me so I can come meet the kitten. This is a BAD IDEA.

Last night, I suddenly had the mad desire to move. I want to move. I want to get out of Texas and move somewhere else and start over. Michigan, Ohio, Washington, anywhere in the Northeast. Maybe even Colorado... If someone approached me right now and told me I could move to one of these places and be guaranteed not to starve to death from being broke and unable to find a job, I'd do it. But, such a thing is not guaranteed, so I'll stay here and not run away to another state.

I'm waiting for today's bad idea.

(I still haven't folded my laundry. It's been in the basket since last Monday night. It's, um, a little wrinkly. Good thing I'm not trying to impress anyone.)

If things were as they seemed, would it be different than it is now?

I mean, really. You look at a person and you can rarely tell exactly what they are feeling or thinking. This one lady at work has no idea that everyone else in the office thinks she is annoying and incompetent. To her, it seems like everyone likes her. Of course, if it was as it seems, it would be different...

So what if things never seemed to be anything other than what they were? Then she would know exactly how they felt. Would she change, or quit? Or would she just stay as she is?

Gah, I'm tired and I don't wanna take this all the way to where I was gonna go with it. I can't really remember how I was gonna get there, anyways.

I'm going to go read till I finish my book, or the sun comes up, or I fall asleep. Whichever comes first.